Injury Report: Oh no, we're injured again....!

[Zirakzigil]

Rickard Rakell	C	Fri, May 6	Upper Body	Expected to be out until at least May 7
Brian Dumoulin	D	Fri, May 6	Lower Body	Expected to be out until at least May 7
Tristan Jarry	G	Fri, May 6	Foot	Expected to be out until at least May 7
Casey DeSmith	G	Fri, May 6	Abdomen	Expected to be out until at least Sep 15

Updated May 7th, 2022

Shamelessly using this website for updates. You cant make me twitter!
2021-22 Pittsburgh Penguins Injuries - NHL

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[BlindWillyMcHurt]

The word is his head is about to pop off like an old Barbie doll.

Team doctor said it's gonna require a neckyotomy.

Trouba was gonna send him a get well card but I guess it deflected off some swamp gas, fluttered into the next county, got caught up on some kid's bike spokes, landed in a mud puddle and eventually an unusually smart dog picked it up and deposited it in a completely different mail box. One in a million, I know. But in the end just an unfortunate postal play.

Stuff like that happens a lot to the guy.

 

[HandshakeLine]

Surprisingly, it's the opposite. See Sidney Crosby actually lives in a perpetual state of heightened consciousness because he's constantly concussed and what really happened is that Trouba hit him back to normal neurological function. So, in order for Crosby to return to the lineup, we have to hit him with a series of comically oversized cast iron pans until he neurologically "resets".

Good thing we've hired a cartoon bulldog in a lab coat just for this very thing.

 

[Honour Over Glory]

When the UPMC asked Crosby what day it was he said it was Dre Day and started to crip walk.

 

[HandshakeLine]

When the UPMC asked Crosby what day it was he said it was Dre Day and started to crip walk.

Oh god, it's worse than I feared. He's got a terrible case of WC solo careeritis.

 

[Honour Over Glory]

Oh god, it's worse than I feared. He's got a terrible case of WC solo careeritis.

Mate he's gone a little insane in the membrane.

Insane in the brain...​

 

[HandshakeLine]

Mate he's gone a little insane in the membrane.

Insane in the brain...​

Sid responded that we could "kiss his Converse like Sho Nuff." :yikes:

 

[Jacob]

The hit decalcified his pineal gland. He had to leave the game because he began perceiving horrifying extra-dimensional demons committing unspeakable acts.

 

[HandshakeLine]

Sidney Crosby and the Five Guys Fries of Madness.

 

[Genetic]

Why are we joking about Sids concussion(s)? I felt sick to my stomach after yesterday's game. Not surprised the league didn't do anything to trouba.

 

[Honour Over Glory]

Crosby now identifies as his basement washing machine, mentally.

Why are we joking about Sids concussion(s)? I felt sick to my stomach after yesterday's game. Not surprised the league didn't do anything to trouba.

It's how we cope. We f***ing despise the Rangers and their fans and they're assholes. But this is how we cope, we all want Sid back and are huge fans, but sitting and moping solves nothing. So we tell awful jokes that makes some of us assholes, laugh to forget the pain.

 

[MetalheadPenguinsFan]

Mate he's gone a little insane in the membrane.

Insane in the brain...​

He ain’t goin’ out like that…

He ain’t goin’ out like that.

 

[Jacob]

Why are we joking about Sids concussion(s)? I felt sick to my stomach after yesterday's game. Not surprised the league didn't do anything to trouba.

What should we do, light candles?

 

[MetalheadPenguinsFan]

On an unrelated note I love the Cypress Hill lyrical references on this page.

 

[Genetic]

What should we do, light candles?

Sounds better than making jokes about it... . Whatever

 

[Jacob]

Sounds better than making jokes about it... . Whatever

It’s completely harmless.

 

[HandshakeLine]

Sounds better than making jokes about it... . Whatever

Thoughts and prayers are not FDA approved treatments for head injuries.

 

[Don'tcry4mejanhrdina]

Crosby now identifies as his basement washing machine, mentally.


It's how we cope. We f***ing despise the Rangers and their fans and they're assholes. But this is how we cope, we all want Sid back and are huge fans, but sitting and moping solves nothing. So we tell awful jokes that makes some of us assholes, laugh to forget the pain.

Crosby certainly has!

We should start putting flowers at the site of the terrible collision that killed Crosby, like you see along the highway.

 

[HandshakeLine]

How quickly we forget the time Sergei Gonchar died at the zoo, so overcome by the majesty of the giraffe his ticker plumb gave out.

 

[Jacob]

How quickly we forget the time Sergei Gonchar died at the zoo, so overcome by the majesty of the giraffe his ticker plumb gave out.

Remember when Nils Ekman died on the ice?

 

[HandshakeLine]

Remember when Nils Ekman died on the ice?

How could I NOT?

 

[TooManyHumans]

Why are we joking about Sids concussion(s)? I felt sick to my stomach after yesterday's game. Not surprised the league didn't do anything to trouba.

I am with you. I find nothing funny at all about Sid yet again having his brain damaged because the NHL is a league of goons run by goons.

 

[harmonica]

Remember when Nils Ekman died on the ice?

28th greatest Pens game of all time!

 

[Dacks]

Anyone remember how many games Sid missed after the Niskanen cross-check?

 

[Andy99]

Anyone remember how many games Sid missed after the Niskanen cross-check?

one but Sid later claimed he wasnt diagnosed with a concussion

 

[Dacks]

one but Sid later claimed he wasnt diagnosed with a concussion

Thanks